So tomorrow is treatment number 4 and I can't sleep tonight which is no big surprise, since I had to start my steroid medicine today in preparation for chemo tomorrow. The steroids keep you awake and make it hard to sleep, I'm waiting for the day when I become aggressive and start bulking up :) I had a great week last week of having energy and feeling great and I know whats coming next. This is the part that I truly dread the extreme tiredness, sickness, and overall body pain for the next week. In better news I was able to work everyday last week and the three days this week. I played 2 softball games on Friday, which felt amazing to be back on the field with my softball buddies playing a sport that I absolutely love. I also played tennis on Sunday evening, which I have only played like twice in my life so that was very interesting to watch to say the least. I was back to the old athletic Kate. Which is probably why i dread tomorrow so much, but I know it tomorrow has to come and then it will one less treatment that I have to do and closer to being done. My whole goal is to have 2010 be the year of cancer and go into next year with chemo and surgery behind me and 2011 be a fresh new start
Oh and I miss my hair, I can't say the many times I have reached the back of my head in an attempt to put my hair in a pony tail and there is nothing there. I catch myself people watching more now and staring at people's heads, or watching infomercials about hair care products. Its pretty funny actually, and almost pathetic I know but its like part of my identity has been taken away from me and body is going through this change that I didn't sign up for. I know its just the chemo and that it will grow back in time, it just sucks a little bit right now. I get a little tired of wearing the hats and scarfs but not quite ready to walk around bald.
There's not much to report I have been pretty normal this past week which has been great, and my only thoughts right now are on the tumor and hoping that the chemo last time did its job and started to shrink the tumor. Hopefully the report tomorrow from the doctor will be a good one, at least that what I pray for. I pray for high white blood count, strong immune system so that I can have the chemo and for it to shrink the tumor and kill the cancer..
Thanks for letting me rant, and get some much needed feelings out! Keep the prayers coming this way they are greatly appreciated and I feel them. God works in great ways I can be having a bad day and I'll get a message or a card saying how some one's thinking of me and I know that he is working and letting me know that everything will be okay and that there are people out there thinking of me and still praying. I'm truly humbled and moved by it all.
So until tomorrow when I know my mom will be on to post
Peace, Love and Hope
Kaitlyn
I am starting this blog to give my phone and mind a break :) Though I truly appreciate all the love and support I have received over the past couple of weeks, I am feeling a little overwhelmed with it also. So I wanted to have a place where I could update everyone on whats going on and you would have a place to write me comments of love and encouragment.
4 comments:
Hey kiddo! Just wanted to tell you what a great person you are and your probably the strongest, and bravest person I know. While reading your post it really hit me that as bad of a situation that you were dealt it CAN'T stop you. Not with your great attitude and willingness to beat it. I'm sure there are lots of terrible moments but YOU really WILL kick cancers ASS! Keep the faith sweety.
I'm totally with Jay on this one! As I sit here drinking my coffee, I know you're prepping for a horrible day, and my thoughts are all consumed by you, your family, and your doctors. Your attitude is amazing and inspirational and it makes me feel so overwhelming certain that you've already kicked cancer in its rear end. SO proud of you, Girl. Love you much!
It was so great to play tennis with you on Sunday! (For anyone else reading this, she really played way better than she makes it sound. She thinks I'm patronizing her, but I'm not. ;) Definitely lots of prayers coming your way today.
Today is the day. As I write you are into the chemo mode. Setting there joking with the nurses, mom, Scott and Sara. Yet in my heart I know you are asking that "why Me" question. This is what I think and know to be the answer. You are doing this so you can be an inspiration to the rest of us out here that think we have problems. You are so positive in what you say that you give us all hope that we can conquer the small things that come our way. You have that WIN attitude all the time around us. We feel blessed to know you. I know there are times that you can say " I don't want to do this, make it go away" but then you climb on that mountain and yell " I have the faith of a mustard see" so I am ready to kick this cancers butt. Love you Kaitlyn for being an inspiration to all of us out here. "Team Thomas" is rooting and cheering you on. You go girl. Love ya
Grams and Gramps
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